A ninety-one year old patient of mine recently received a very powerful drug. The effect was remarkable. He looks and feels almost twenty years younger.
This is the same patient I admitted as the very first admission to the new hospital in Sevierville on Sunday, February 14, 2010. There was an unspoken competition to see who would be the first physician to admit a patient to the hospital. It was a completely random process and I remember it as my pager went off while I was playing the piano in church. I missed a chord, but silenced the pager, finished the music, and drove over to admit him. He didn't look well at all.
His heart was failing leading to fluid in the lungs and lower extremities. The cough and shortness of breath had worn him down and a mild lung infection wasn't helping much, either. He had been faithfully caring for his wife of nearly sixty years who had dementia. The loneliness and strain of caring for a spouse who was dearly loved, but unable to be the companion she had been before, was enormous. His body and mind was showing the result.
He needed rest. His devout faith yearned for a greater rest.
His recovery in the hospital was from medicine and grit. He willed himself out of the hospital in order to care for his wife until she died a short time later.
He was then alone. His son provided support and his church loved him as a church should love a lifelong member. He was content to live the days he was given simply and with few desires.
Then he met someone, again.
They had dated as teenagers and were rudely interrupted by World War II. He left to serve in the military, and as happens, she married another. When he returned he fell in love with his future wife and was married.
Sixty-plus years passed and they never saw each other. Both faithfully loved their spouses until they died, remarkably in the same year.
As I entered the room on his recent visit I clearly noticed a twinkle in his eye and a broader than normal smile on his face. His cane was merely there for decoration because his gait was strong. His swelling was better. His shortness of breath was hardly there. Arthritis? Not as severe. Voice? Why yes, very strong. Strong enough to sing a solo in church the day before.
She was there in church, too, "to hear his solo," he said with a smile. This is the same church they attended as teens.
Can being with someone, or accepted by someone, really make that much difference?
A study reported by Dr. Aino Lammintausta (Turku University Hospital, Finland) and associates in the European Journal of Preventive Cardiology, studied 15,330 cases of "acute coronary syndrome" (heart attack) from 1993 to 2012. In essence, they found that unmarried men and women have nearly 60-65% greater chance of a heart attack and complications within one month.
The scientists will studiously tell us the the serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine in the brain produce a feeling of love and fulfillment. What they can't explain is how the thoughts of love, or the presence of one unique individual, can cause those chemicals to be released.
The same week I saw two more patients who had begun a relationship after some time had passed from the death of their long time spouse. Their entire demeanor, outlook and numbers on lab work reflected a person who is in a healthier, happier place in life than when they were alone.
The power of love, and being loved, is remarkable. It truly has done more for this patient than any drug he has ever been given. And yet it is all just thoughts - thoughts of another person who has their own problems and faults, and yet still is loved and accepted.
Nevertheless, our world is full of people who don't know that "drug" - love. We are seeing a level of hatred and death in this world that is incomprehensible, yet our video screens not only can comprehend it, they can place it in our hands to watch at any moment of the day.
Even in our own world people will look happy in their family portraits, neatly manicured yards and perfectly kept houses, but they don't know love. They know routines, obligations, duty, promises, appearances and, quietly hidden in the heart, emptiness of the soul. Rarely a day passes that I am not reminded of this.
My patient knows true love - love of his Almighty God first and foremost, and now, again, the love of another whom he first knew as a teenager. He is accepted by her for who he is rather than for what he can do.
If only a mere prescription could fill that for others.
Eric J. Littleton, M.D. is a Family Physician in Sevierville, TN. His office is located at 958 Dolly Parton Parkway. Topics covered are general in nature and should not be used to change medical treatments and/or plans without first discussing with your physician. Send questions to askdrlittleton@gmail.com.
